The Call That Changed My Definition of Leadership

Trigger Warning: This article contains references to suicide and mental health. If these topics may be distressing for you, please consider reading this article with someone you trust or returning to it when you feel ready. If you are experiencing thoughts of suicide, or you're concerned about someone you know, please don't face it alone. Reach out to Lifeline on 13 11 14, or call 000 immediately if someone's life is in immediate danger. There is hope, help is available, and you do not have to walk this journey alone.

There are some phone calls you never forget.

This was one of them.

My phone rang.

On the other end was a member of my team. To protect her privacy, I'll call her Cassie.

Her voice was calm.

Almost too calm.

She wasn't calling about work.

She wasn't asking about her roster.

She wasn't ringing to tell me she was sick.

She told me she was standing on the edge of a multi-storey car park.

She didn't know if she wanted to take another step.

In that moment, everything else disappeared.

The meetings on my calendar.

The overflowing inbox.

The reports I still had to finish.

The performance dashboards.

The service levels.

The budget.

The complaints.

None of it mattered anymore.

The only thing that mattered was the person on the other end of the phone.

That conversation has stayed with me ever since.

Not because it was dramatic.

Because it changed me.

I Thought Leadership Was About Results

Like many leaders, I spent the early part of my career believing success was measured by numbers.

Customer satisfaction.

Response times.

Revenue.

Attrition.

Efficiency.

Those things matter.

They still do.

But they're not the reason people remember a leader.

Years later, when I was invited to speak at an industry conference about workplace wellbeing, I opened with a quote from Richard Branson that perfectly captured what I had come to believe:

"Clients do not come first. Employees come first. If you take care of your employees, they will take care of your clients."

When I first read those words, they were an inspiring quote.

After Cassie's phone call, they became my leadership philosophy.

Because she taught me something no leadership book ever could.

Behind every KPI is a person.

We Never Really Know

One of the humbling realities of leadership is how little we often know about the people we work alongside every day.

The colleague who always smiles.

The high performer who never complains.

The quiet team member who always gets the job done.

Every one of them is carrying a story.

Some stories are visible.

Many aren't.

As leaders, it's easy to become consumed by the measurable.

The targets.

The deadlines.

The reports.

The metrics.

But the things that matter most in leadership rarely fit neatly into a spreadsheet.

People don't leave their lives at the office door.

They bring their hopes.

Their fears.

Their marriages.

Their finances.

Their grief.

Their mental health.

Their faith.

Their whole selves.

I've come to believe that one of the greatest responsibilities of leadership is creating an environment where people know they don't have to carry those burdens alone.

Not because leaders have all the answers.

But because people need to know someone cares enough to ask,

"How are you... really?"

And then stay long enough to hear the answer.

The Ripple Effect of Care

That phone call didn't simply change the way I led one person.

It changed the way I led every person.

It changed the questions I asked.

It changed how I thought about culture.

It changed how I measured success.

It changed the way I coached.

Looking back now, I can also see how it shaped the direction of my career.

Over the years, I found myself leading teams in organisations where mental health wasn't just something we talked about—it was central to the work we did.

At the time, those career moves seemed unrelated.

Now, I don't think they were.

As a Christian, I believe God often prepares us for future callings through moments we would never choose for ourselves.

Not because He causes our pain.

But because He wastes none of it.

That single phone call became one of those moments.

It reshaped my leadership long before it reshaped my career.

A Story of Hope

People often ask me what happened to Cassie.

I'm grateful to tell them that she accepted help.

Recovery wasn't immediate, and it wasn't easy, but it was possible.

Today, she spends part of her life supporting others who have experienced suicidal thoughts or survived suicide attempts.

Think about that for a moment.

Someone who once believed their story was over is now helping other people find hope in theirs.

I don't share that because every story ends this way.

Sadly, they don't.

I share it because hope is real.

Because reaching out matters.

Because accepting help matters.

And because one conversation, one act of genuine care and one decision to keep going can change the direction of an entire life.

Looking back, I can see God's fingerprints all over that story.

Not because the circumstances were easy.

But because He has an extraordinary way of bringing hope out of brokenness and purpose out of pain.

Leadership Leaves Fingerprints

People often ask me why I'm so passionate about coaching leaders.

This is one of the reasons.

Leadership is influence.

Whether we realise it or not, our words, our presence and our actions leave fingerprints on the lives of the people we lead.

Some of those fingerprints are forgotten by us within days.

Others are carried by someone else for years.

I don't remember what reports I completed that week.

I don't remember what my service level was.

I couldn't tell you what my inbox looked like.

But I remember the phone call.

Because it reminded me that leadership isn't ultimately about what we achieve.

It's about who we care for along the way.

Ever since that day, whenever I find myself becoming consumed by metrics, deadlines or performance, I come back to one simple truth.

Behind every KPI...

Behind every roster...

Behind every performance review...

Behind every customer complaint...

Behind every meeting...

...is a person.

Someone deeply loved.

Someone carrying a story.

Someone who matters.

Leadership isn't just about managing performance.

It's about stewarding the lives entrusted to our care.

Because you never know when the most important thing you do all day won't appear on a dashboard.

It will be answering the phone.

Reflection

Take a moment and ask yourself:

• Do the people I lead know they matter beyond what they produce?

• When was the last time I genuinely asked someone, "How are you?" and stayed long enough to hear the answer?

• If my team described my leadership in one sentence, would they remember my results or the way I made them feel?

• What kind of fingerprints am I leaving on the lives of the people I lead?

• If the phone rang today, would the people around me know they could call?

Author's Note

If you are experiencing thoughts of suicide, or you're concerned about someone you know, please don't face it alone. Reach out to Lifeline on 13 11 14, or call 000 immediately if someone's life is in immediate danger. Speaking to someone is a sign of courage, not weakness. There is hope, help is available, and no matter how dark today may feel, you do not have to walk this journey alone.