Fourth Time Was Not the Charm

Many years ago, I was trying to make the transition from frontline employee to manager.

And, like most people in that position, I felt that I was ready.

I was a capable salesperson. I knew the business. I had experience in both the branches and the contact centre. I had even stepped up as Acting Branch Manager from time to time.

In my mind, I had served my time.

I felt both the pull towards something greater and the frustration of waiting for someone else to recognise that I was ready for it.

So… it was time to fire off some applications.

This organisation generally promoted from within, which I loved then and still believe is a great strategy today.

Grow the leaders you need.

Build instead of buy.

Knowing that I had the runs on the board, I thought I had a genuine chance of landing a Branch Manager role.

I applied.

I interviewed.

And the interviewer happened to be the person who had brought me into the company in the first place. She had also been my Area Manager when I worked in the branch and had seen me step into the Acting Branch Manager role.

We had a great rapport.

She knew me.

She knew what I could do.

So, in my mind, this was really just a box-ticking exercise.

Surely, this one was mine.

It wasn't.

The role went to someone else.

Fair enough.

I knew them. They were good. They deserved it.

Then another role came up.

I applied again.

Someone else got it.

Another deserving person.

Then another opportunity.

Same result.

By the time a fourth Branch Manager position came around, I was starting to wonder what exactly these people were missing.

Apparently, three interviews had not sufficiently demonstrated how awesome I was.

Around this time, the Area Manager and I happened to be walking towards the train station together.

After the customary pleasantries, she turned to me and said:

"James, I'm not going to interview you a fourth time for this role."

Now, inside my head, I was thinking:

Great.

Finally.

No need.

You've interviewed me three times already. You know what I can do. Just hand me the keys to the branch.

That was not what was about to happen.

Instead, she asked me one question.

"How have you grown since the last interview?"

Then she added:

"Perhaps you might want to think about that question, give me a call later this week, and we can discuss it."

And off we went.

To be quite truthful, I was a mixture of stumped, annoyed and deflated.

At that stage of my career, I hadn't yet learned to recognise moments like this for what they were.

An invitation.

An invitation either to defend myself…

or to grow.

For the next couple of days, I thought about her question. I spoke with a trusted manager or three. I replayed those previous interviews in my head.

Eventually, I picked up the phone and called her.

When she answered, I simply said:

"You're right. I'm no different from the person you interviewed the first time."

That was the breakthrough.

Not getting the job.

Realising why I wasn't getting it.

I'd spent all that time believing that because I wanted the next opportunity, I must therefore be ready for it.

I had been measuring my readiness by my experience.

By my performance.

By how long I'd been there.

By what I already knew.

But I hadn't stopped to ask the much harder question:

What am I doing today that demonstrates I'm becoming the leader required for tomorrow?

Once I could see the gap, I could finally do something about it.

My Area Manager told me she would speak with my current manager and help get me onto the organisation's emerging leader pathway.

Something had changed.

Not my capability.

Not my tenure.

Not my sales results.

My willingness to grow.

I'd finally realised that wanting the next role wasn't enough.

I needed to become ready for it.

Interestingly, I never did become a Branch Manager.

My career took a different turn and ultimately led me into leadership opportunities I couldn't have imagined while I was desperately trying to get the keys to one particular branch.

But that conversation on the walk to the train station has stayed with me for decades.

Because sometimes the opportunity we don't get teaches us far more than the one we do.

And sometimes the person standing between us and the next opportunity isn't the hiring manager.

It's the person we were at the last interview.

So, if you've been passed over for the promotion…

If you've applied several times and keep hearing not yet…

If you're frustrated because you know you're capable of more…

there's a question worth sitting with before firing off the next application:

How have you grown since last time?

Not:

What have you done?

Not:

How long have you been here?

Not even:

Why do you deserve it?

How have you grown?

Because the fourth time wasn't the charm for me.

But perhaps it was something better.

It was the first time I realised that the next opportunity didn't necessarily require another application.

It required another version of me.